Nobody seems to be returning my calls so I’m guessing the TV adaption has died on its arse which is a pain but one of the conversations I had with the TV people at one stage was about music and I’ve been thinking about the ideal soundtrack ever since.

I love the lyrics to this song which captures the tribalism of small town England and probably the reason I got jumped and beaten up as a kid a couple of times – but that was just what happened on a Saturday night back then.

Wrong, wrong, wrong...